Stages of Play in Young Children

  By Viola M. Ramseyer, MA  ZA* endorsement              

                  Children go through different stages of play as they grow and develop.  Very young infants only have the ability to attend to one object at a time.  Once an object is out of their sight, it is quickly forgotten. Infants play by themselves because they are so busy exploring and discovering their new world.  Every new object or situation that is introduced is a new learning experience for the newborn. This very first stage of play is called “Solitary Play” or independent play. They are fully engaged in gathering information and storing it for further use.  This stage of play lasts until some where around nine months. This is a very self centered time for the developing infant.

  The second stage of play begins to ripen in slightly older children usually by the time a child is two years of age.  “Parallel Play” is typical of this age child.  This kind of play involves two or more children in the same room. They are interested in the same toys and both see the toy as belonging to them.  Hence they maybe in the same area and play with similar toys, but they do not play together.  They are playing along side each other simply because they are in the same area.

  When children extend their knowledge and play experiences they move into “Associative Play”.  In this stage, three and four year old children begin playing together but it is a loosely organized fashion.  The more mature child soon emerges as the leader or organizer in this stage of play.  They see themselves as capable and able to tell others what to do, the younger child seldom questions this authority that the more mature child has cultivated.

  Finally the child expands into “Cooperative Play” somewhere between the ages of four or five.  Cooperative play takes place between two or more children as they grow and develop socially and emotionally.  In cooperative play, children exchange ideas about the game or the toy they are playing with at that moment in time.  Rules tend to still be very loosely constructed, but children know who is playing which role in their game. Play may last only a few minutes or it may stretch out for longer periods of time.  Gradually they learn to respect the property rights of others.  This is a clue that they are gaining social skills; at this same time they begin to understand that they need permission to play with certain materials and certain people.  They are also more willing to share their toys for the sake of the game.  Communication about the play is the critical point of cooperative play.

  It is important to note that children differ widely according to birth order within their own families. Boys and girls develop in different areas at different stages of their life, so there is never complete adherence to any of these exact ages.  Not all children move through the stages at the same rate, because children who have more life experiences tend to emerge as leaders or organizers at younger ages.  Confidence, shyness, and other personality traits factor into these stages of play.

*Specialist in Early Childhood Development 

Parents Are the First Teachers

By Viola M Ramseyer MA  ZA* endorsement

                With all of the books that have come out in recent years on how to rear children, many parents feel inadequate and insecure.  They feel that unless they have read all of the experts in the field they just can’t hope to measure up to the task at hand.  This is not the truth!  Studies show that the parents are their children’s first and most important teacher.  

Watch your infant. Even before you think they are capable of much of anything except sleeping, eating, messing up your schedule, and needing a diaper change; they are learning from you, reading you if you will.  The gentleness of your touch even in the middle of the night lets a child know they are cherished and valued.  They know instinctively that this big person cares for their needs when they cry, but does it come with tenderness or is this person gruff and irritable.  They respond in kind to the soft, quiet voice and manner of the parent; or with fear to the brusque handling they receive if the converse is true.

Consistent behaviors tend to make a child feel secure and sure of which way their world is turning, soon they learn that their actions and reactions to the human race also affect their little world and this makes them feel powerful; in control.  Ask any young parent of a newborn and they will tell you “she rules our home now.” Children need to know, however, that they can depend on the adult to take that role back whenever the child feels out of control.  So it is a fine balance between control and being controlled.

Infants who have assurance that they are valued and controlled are ready to learn other things in their new ever changing sphere.  They can refuse to eat or nurse when they are not hungry; they can smile, laugh out loud, cry or squeal to get attention.  What parent’s heart does not melt the moment their infant gives them that big toothless grin or that first slobbery kiss on the cheek.

Children know intuitively that they are now in control of their parent’s heart.  From this point on all learning is based on giving and taking.  Still the parent is doing most of the giving, get used to it!  These little people are learning just how many smiles, coos, giggles, or kisses it takes to get the parent to give into whatever their little needs require.

Quickly they learn to hold toys or hold their bottle, to be somewhat helpful.  Who taught them that skill, it does not just happen; they learned it from you. They learn to roll over, creep along the floor to get to a desired object.  Infants study how it is that you sit, stand, throw, etc. as they are ready for this stage of development; and where did they learn it, from their parent, of course.  At each level of change, the parent is the one that the child has the most opportunity to observe, so the child practices what they see.

By the time they reach their first day care or kindergarten class they have been taught many useful things from their parents.  They have gained a wealth of knowledge, and become skilled at all of the life skills they need to move into this next stage of their expansion. 

Teachers only dare to draw closer to a group of children after the parent has helped them move along to a more independent stage of life.  Your job is not complete, as a parent does not give the reins completely over to the rest of the world until the child is 18 years of age.  Studies show that even in the teen years, the parent is still the most influential person in their offspring’s life.  So be encouraged, do your best to show your child how important they are in your life, you will surely reap the rewards of all your hard work.

*Specialist in Early Childhood Development 

“Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.” – Kay Redfield Jamison

It has been said that parents are their child’s first playmates. Research shows that children who play regularly with their parents, grandparents, or other extended family members enjoy the greatest developmental benefits. Here are some great ideas for spending creative, imaginative, and quality playtime with your child.

• Share a favorite toy, game or storybook from your childhood with your child and create a new memory.
• Explore the world of one of your child’s favorite characters. See a movie, read a story or play a game featuring their cartoon or animated hero.
• Tell a story about when you were young and have your child do the same.
• Create a photo memory book that you can enjoy and pass on to generations to come.
• Teach your child a skill. Whether it’s playing an instrument, playing catch or even tying their shoe laces, they’ll never forget who taught them.
• Cook in the kitchen together. It not only helps your child learn reasoning, math and reading skills, but you’ll have a tasty treat to share with friends and family as well.
• Plan a game night. Have members of the family of all ages participate. Take turns picking favorite games to play. (You might find a new favorite!)
• Get crafty! Paint pictures together, knit a scarf, make jewelry or get a craft kit. You can even give the finished products as gifts to other family members for birthdays and holidays.
• Get moving! Play a game of Frisbee, toss a ball, or engage in some other activity that gets you both up and active. It will help both you and your child stay sharp and fit.
• Enjoy downtime. Don’t forget to relax and enjoy watching your children playing on their own or with friends.